It was not until I started learning other languages that I stopped questioning my religion . . .
I grew up Catholic. I went to Catholic Church.
Sit. Stand. Kneel.
Peace be with you..
I have always been a loyal catholic. My family went to church every single Sunday. If we didn't go, we read from the Bible, or watched that amazingly interesting channel that had the recording of an entire mass. I admit, those things could get boring. It was not my favorite thing to wake up at 7:00 am to go to mass, half sleeping. In fact, I often dreaded it.
But, I have always stuck up for my God. I have never let anyone bash or talk negatively about Him in my presence, not without a fight. I think of my relationship with God to be a lot like the one that I have with my little sister;
My sister is my sister.
She always has been,
And she always will be.
I cannot erase her from my life,
And I never would want to.
Sometimes, I don't talk to my sister for days.
In unfortunte times, I do not talk to her for weeks.
I do not always respect her the way I should.
I am not always as nice to her as I could be.
I don't spend as much time with her as I would like,
And when I do have the time,
I do not always take advantage of it.
Sometimes, my sister is my best friend,
And in others, she is completely absent from my mind.
But I will always be there for my sister.
I will always defend her.
I will let no one ruin the name of my sister.
I will let no one hurt her.
I will let no one talk bad about her.
And if anyone dares to do any of the above
In my presence,
They will have to face me.
I am here to protect her. . .
..As I am here to protect God. The same goes for Him. I will always be here for Him as He always has been for me. I may not always show how much I care. I may not always show up to church. I do not always pray as much as I ought to. I do not participate in class as much as He would like.
But, as He has carried me when I was weak,
as He has held my hand when I was frightened,
and as He has been there for me when I was in lonesome pain in an empty room,
I too, will always be there to protect Him. I will be there to defend Him when He cannot do so Himself.
But I have always had my questions:
How can God watch everything?
How can he handle everything on His own?
Who created God? Where did He come from?
Why is there so much world suffering if God is watching over us?
Why can't things be better since He is oh-so OMNIFICENT!
I think and I wonder.
I ask and I ponder.
My heart is filled with unanswered questions and my thoughts overflow in my head with so much curiosity and fear that I may never know. . .
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Over the last few months, I have started to take classes to learn foreign languages. I have already studied Spanish for three years. This year, I took up Italian and French.
At the same time.
It was....an experience.
I enjoy learning languages. I enjoy sounding international. I enjoy hearing the beauty in my own voice of each vowel in the Italian words connecting to sound like a song made of silk and powder. I enjoy not just saying French words, but using their accent to be more correct, to seem more fluent. Making my 'R's sound more like 'W's. I love being able to communicate with others in a different language. And, I love learning the culture of other countries.
Every language has it's rules. Rules that are very hard to comprehend. Rules that have me contantly asking "Why, though?"
Especially for one who speaks English, one of the toughest languages in the world to learn, it is hard to make your mind think in a specific way in order to know WHY a language acts the way it does.
For example, in English, why do we say "Up" attached to every other word? Does anyone know how confusing this is to the uncomprehensive foreigner? Isn't "up" just the direction towards the sky? So how can someone:
button up (a shirt)
slip up (and tell a secret)
fix up (an old car)
straighten up (a messy room)
shut up (or be quiet)
get up (off a seat)
zipper up (a jacket)
clean up (a room)
wash up (your face)
eat up (your dinner)
mix up (the playing cards)
walk up (the stairs)
fill up (the gas tank)
call up (my mother)
finish up (my homework)
drink up (your milk)
mess up (the bed)
kiss up (to your boss)
plug up (the toilet)
wake up (the baby)
stir up (the stew)
screw up (our plans)
hang up (the phone)
push up (or exercise)
cut up (the vegetables)
So naturally, there are many things that also do not make sense to me..
Why in God's name do the Italians say everything backwards?
Why do they say "What of it did you think?"
Why is it that they can say "You like apples"
and that can be the same sentence as "Do you like apples?"
Why do they "have" years? Why aren't they __ years old?
Why do the French address someone formally the same way they would address many people?
Why is it polite?
If I go up to the French president and I say, "How are you guys doing today?" that is proper, polite, and utmost expected.
Why? Perche? Pourquoi? Porque? Warum? Giati? Preco? Sebep? Tai Sao?
WHY WHY WHY???
And finally, my question was answered;
"Because. It just is.
Because you are American.
You think like an American.
You think in the only way you know how
And you think
-In your logical little American brain-
That there is not other way possible.
But there is.
And the rules will remain
Even though you SAY
'it does not make sense that way' "
.........................................................................................................................................................................
This was my....."OOOOOOOH!!! NOW I get it!!" ...moment.
This was when I knew that there were answers to all of my religious-related questions!
I knew there was a way.
I knew there was a rhyme or reason,
or perhaps there WASN'T one!
And that would be just it!
There is no rhyme or reason!
It doesn't have to make sense!
It cannot make sense!
I am a human. God is . . . God.
I am American and He is South African.
We do not speak the same language.
I do not speak the language of God.
Our lives are different. Our cities are different.
The people we know are different. Our laws are different.
Perhaps God could not IMAGINE why the rules in my country are a certain way, because they would never be that way in His. No one would understand. But that does not mean that they do not exist. My language remains as is no matter what God or any other African thinks of that.
I grew up Catholic. I went to Catholic Church.
Sit. Stand. Kneel.
Peace be with you..
I have always been a loyal catholic. My family went to church every single Sunday. If we didn't go, we read from the Bible, or watched that amazingly interesting channel that had the recording of an entire mass. I admit, those things could get boring. It was not my favorite thing to wake up at 7:00 am to go to mass, half sleeping. In fact, I often dreaded it.
But, I have always stuck up for my God. I have never let anyone bash or talk negatively about Him in my presence, not without a fight. I think of my relationship with God to be a lot like the one that I have with my little sister;
My sister is my sister.
She always has been,
And she always will be.
I cannot erase her from my life,
And I never would want to.
Sometimes, I don't talk to my sister for days.
In unfortunte times, I do not talk to her for weeks.
I do not always respect her the way I should.
I am not always as nice to her as I could be.
I don't spend as much time with her as I would like,
And when I do have the time,
I do not always take advantage of it.
Sometimes, my sister is my best friend,
And in others, she is completely absent from my mind.
But I will always be there for my sister.
I will always defend her.
I will let no one ruin the name of my sister.
I will let no one hurt her.
I will let no one talk bad about her.
And if anyone dares to do any of the above
In my presence,
They will have to face me.
I am here to protect her. . .
..As I am here to protect God. The same goes for Him. I will always be here for Him as He always has been for me. I may not always show how much I care. I may not always show up to church. I do not always pray as much as I ought to. I do not participate in class as much as He would like.
But, as He has carried me when I was weak,
as He has held my hand when I was frightened,
and as He has been there for me when I was in lonesome pain in an empty room,
I too, will always be there to protect Him. I will be there to defend Him when He cannot do so Himself.
But I have always had my questions:
How can God watch everything?
How can he handle everything on His own?
What is Heaven like?
Who created God? Where did He come from?
Why is there so much world suffering if God is watching over us?
Why can't things be better since He is oh-so OMNIFICENT!
I think and I wonder.
I ask and I ponder.
My heart is filled with unanswered questions and my thoughts overflow in my head with so much curiosity and fear that I may never know. . .
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Over the last few months, I have started to take classes to learn foreign languages. I have already studied Spanish for three years. This year, I took up Italian and French.
At the same time.
It was....an experience.
I enjoy learning languages. I enjoy sounding international. I enjoy hearing the beauty in my own voice of each vowel in the Italian words connecting to sound like a song made of silk and powder. I enjoy not just saying French words, but using their accent to be more correct, to seem more fluent. Making my 'R's sound more like 'W's. I love being able to communicate with others in a different language. And, I love learning the culture of other countries.
BUT!
But
But
But
But
.
.
.
.
Every language has it's rules. Rules that are very hard to comprehend. Rules that have me contantly asking "Why, though?"
Especially for one who speaks English, one of the toughest languages in the world to learn, it is hard to make your mind think in a specific way in order to know WHY a language acts the way it does.
For example, in English, why do we say "Up" attached to every other word? Does anyone know how confusing this is to the uncomprehensive foreigner? Isn't "up" just the direction towards the sky? So how can someone:
button up (a shirt)
slip up (and tell a secret)
fix up (an old car)
straighten up (a messy room)
shut up (or be quiet)
get up (off a seat)
zipper up (a jacket)
clean up (a room)
wash up (your face)
eat up (your dinner)
mix up (the playing cards)
walk up (the stairs)
fill up (the gas tank)
call up (my mother)
finish up (my homework)
drink up (your milk)
mess up (the bed)
kiss up (to your boss)
plug up (the toilet)
wake up (the baby)
stir up (the stew)
screw up (our plans)
hang up (the phone)
push up (or exercise)
cut up (the vegetables)
So naturally, there are many things that also do not make sense to me..
Why in God's name do the Italians say everything backwards?
Why do they say "What of it did you think?"
Why is it that they can say "You like apples"
and that can be the same sentence as "Do you like apples?"
Why do they "have" years? Why aren't they __ years old?
Why do the French address someone formally the same way they would address many people?
Why is it polite?
If I go up to the French president and I say, "How are you guys doing today?" that is proper, polite, and utmost expected.
Why? Perche? Pourquoi? Porque? Warum? Giati? Preco? Sebep? Tai Sao?
WHY WHY WHY???
And finally, my question was answered;
"Because. It just is.
Because you are American.
You think like an American.
You think in the only way you know how
And you think
-In your logical little American brain-
That there is not other way possible.
But there is.
And the rules will remain
Even though you SAY
'it does not make sense that way' "
.........................................................................................................................................................................
This was my....."OOOOOOOH!!! NOW I get it!!" ...moment.
This was when I knew that there were answers to all of my religious-related questions!
I knew there was a way.
I knew there was a rhyme or reason,
or perhaps there WASN'T one!
And that would be just it!
There is no rhyme or reason!
It doesn't have to make sense!
It cannot make sense!
I am a human. God is . . . God.
I am American and He is South African.
We do not speak the same language.
I do not speak the language of God.
Our lives are different. Our cities are different.
The people we know are different. Our laws are different.
Perhaps God could not IMAGINE why the rules in my country are a certain way, because they would never be that way in His. No one would understand. But that does not mean that they do not exist. My language remains as is no matter what God or any other African thinks of that.
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